


Talk Me Down.

by undeadasleep



Series: Fall Only Comes Once. [3]
Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: Crying, F/M, I'm Sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-02
Updated: 2016-09-02
Packaged: 2018-08-12 12:38:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7934863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/undeadasleep/pseuds/undeadasleep
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Farkle-<br/>I'm assuming you're reading this because Maya would call you first. You’re the one with the key to my dorm, after all. I feel like you should know this isn't your fault. I was having problems long before our relationship. You know that I can't trust myself with my three a.m. shadow. This time it won. I'm sorry. I love you, Farkle, nothing will change that. If I survive this, I hope we can fix us. If not, I hope you can be content with who you've become. Thank you for being Pluto. Sadly, only fools fall. -R"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Talk Me Down.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the final piece in my series "Fall Only Comes once." I recommend listening to Talk Me Down by Troye Sivan while listening, and I used Unsteady by X Ambassadors quite a lot while writing this. I'm sorry this took so long to go up! I have had some phone troubles, as well as relationship troubles.
> 
> T/W; implications of suicide/self harm
> 
> Word count; 6,844
> 
> Happy reading!

Farkle hears Topanga tell him it's not his fault. She knew why Farkle was meeting with the blonde girl; he was attempting to fix things with Riley. Their date would have been spectacular. Yet with how things were going lately, of course Riley assumed. But the Matthews don’t blame him. Of course they don't. Farkle loves Riley. He wants to fix everything. Farkle doesn't know how to tell them that he doesn't believe them. Their voices are passing through his mind sounding like the gurgle of water in a stream. He knows this is his fault, and all he wants to do is sleep next to Riley, to hold her close and never let her go. 

The penthouse is full of her. When he came home after the call, he almost drowned in how much of her was there that he didn't see at first. Her perfume is on the blankets, her hairbrush is on the sink. Things he at one point saw as invaluable to him now hold the most value. Her favorite purple blouse. Her favorite sweatshirt of his that still smells so much like her. The dishes in the sink that Riley picked out. She’s everywhere around him. Now, he can’t even bring himself to look at their bed, let alone the notecard on the bedside table. But he memorized the words; they're imprinted on his mind. 

_Farkle-  
I'm assuming you're reading this because Maya would call you first. You’re the one with the key to my dorm, after all. I feel like you should know this isn't your fault. I was having problems long before our relationship. You know that I can't trust myself with my three a.m. shadow. This time it won. I'm sorry. I love you, Farkle, nothing will change that. If I survive this, I hope we can fix us. If not, I hope you can be content with who you've become. Thank you for being Pluto. Sadly, only fools fall. -R_

He imagines the way her hair is falling over her shoulder right now. He would know, except he can't bring himself to see her. He can't bring himself to see her laying there, chest barely rising and falling as she struggles for her life. He knows Maya and Lucas haven’t left her side. He knows Zay has kept an almost permanent standing beside her bed because he came by to check on Farkle the other day, and he walked in on Farkle sobbing into one of Riley’s sweatshirts.  
_“Farkle, man, this isn't healthy,” his friend had said, putting his hand on Farkle’s shoulder. “You need to get out of the penthouse. You need to see Riley.”_  
_“I can't see her, Zay. I want to, but I can't. I’d rather fuel a fantasy-”_  
_“Than deal with this alone? You expect us to let you deal with this alone? Farkle, she's our best friend too.” The seriousness of his friend made Farkle nod, chewing on the inside of his cheek._  
_“She’s my fianceé, Zay. We just didn't say anything yet. Not even to Maya and Lucas.”_  
_“You’ve gotta see her, man.”_  
Farkle decides now is as good a time as any to see her. It's late, so he knows it's probably not visiting hours, but he's a Minkus. Not to mention, he's almost family. According to Topanaga, he _is_ family. So Farkle showers and changes, slipping on Riley’s favorite sweatshirt. He's never been one to believe in miracles or superstitions, but there's a part of him hoping that if he wears it, she'll come back to him. 

Riley’s frame is peaceful. Her arms lay limply at her sides, but occasionally her fingers twitch, a simple sign that she’s still breathing. Farkle’s not sure how she's still breathing. The nurse told him she shouldn’t be alive. He can believe it with how her porcelain skin is almost translucent, veins of blue easily traced by his delicate touch.  
“Riley,” he murmurs, biting his lip as he steps into the room, “what did you do?” The sheer sight of her is enough to bring him to his knees, and Maya looks up from her seat at the sound of his voice.  
“You came,” she observes, and her voice is emotionless, but she is shaking so hard that Farkle knows his visit is long overdue.  
“I did. How is she?”  
“She's okay. Stable. I talk to her every once and a while. Come back, honey. Peaches needs you. So does Pluto. And Farkle. He needs you the most. That's what I say. I thought I saw her smile once when I mentioned you, but I couldn't be sure.” Farkle smiles at this, and before either of them can comprehend it, he's crying in Maya’s arms. She soothes him the best she can, but the only thing he can say is Riley’s name over and over again, as if his voice is a scratched record.  
“I'll leave you with her for a minute. I think you need it.” Maya smiles softly and steps away from her friend, picking up her phone for what seems to be the first time in a while. “I'm gonna get some coffee from the cafeteria. You want any?”  
“N-no. I just need to be with her.” His friend nods and kisses Riley’s forehead before stepping out of the room, and Farkle waits for the door to close before he approaches Riley’s bed, perching himself on the side of it.

A chuckle escapes his lips as he stares at her, taking in how pale her lips are, how she looks like a doll, not a human. Science is telling him he needs to leave, that she's going to die soon, but emotion is begging him to stay. Emotion is giving him a false hope, so he gently takes one of her hands, flinching at the coldness of it, and begins to talk.  
“Hey, Riles. I should have visited earlier, I know. It took a little shaking from Zay for me to actually do it, though. He’s been giving me updates about you. He told me you woke up for a little bit this morning, and Maya cried. He said that you actually ate, and that you asked for me before you went back under. I wish I could have been here, but the nurse told me you’re in better shape then you should be for what you did.  
“Why did you do it, Riles? Why didn't you talk to me? I could have helped you. I want to help you. A notecard isn't enough to say goodbye. You can't leave me like that. What about Pluto? Maya? Zay? Lucas? What about Auggie and Josh? And your parents? Riley, they've barely left the hospital. I had to send them home with a promise that I would look after you. Please come back. I need you, princess. I love you.” 

Farkle lets out a forced laugh, watching his fiancée intently for some sign of life. A smile, a twitch. Anything. This pain is agony, shooting a million bolts of lightning through his failing heart. He presses a kiss to her lips, hoping for a fairytale reaction. He gets nothing. He isn’t surprised. After all, people like him don’t get people like Riley. And people like Riley eat themselves away until there’s nothing. He knows this. This is simple psychology. But he wants to hope on a falling star, on an 11:11, on anything, that she didn’t eat herself away. He can’t lose her. He’s scared he’ll lose himself too. 

Farkle leaves the hospital after a day or so, mostly at Lucas’s urging. He insists that both Farkle and Maya go home to sleep; he and Josh are fully capable of watching Riley. Besides, they have each other on speed dial. Farkle reluctantly agrees. And when he gets home? Farkle writes. He’s not one for words, but he writes so much that he buys a new notebook. He writes about Riley, about every moment he can remember about her. He writes about how her hair curls naturally, and how she often straightens it. He writes about her obsession with Pluto and his plan to reinstate it. He fills page after page remembering her. He’s filled up a third notebook when he gets the call. He thought the less time he spent with her, the less she would need to heal. He was wrong.  
A month later, they line up side by side. Maya holds Lucas’s hand. Isadora holds Zay’s. Farkle holds a single rose. He doesn’t cry like the rest. And when it’s time, he gives his speech to the fiancee he no longer has. 

He walks the line between life and death very closely after that. He always brakes a little too soon, or goes a little too fast. He forgets how to breathe when he walks in his room and sees the imprint of someone else on his sheets. Because it’s Riley. But she’s been gone for three months now. Farkle spirals into a hole. 

Maya finds him. All she wanted was a good movie night with her best friend, maybe a bit of tears. Instead, she finds her best friend curled in bed, not moving, a note to his side. She immediately calls the hospital; she can’t leave him to die. But then she reads the note, and the blonde beauty breaks into sobs. _He’s already gone._

“Farkle.” The voice is light and lovely in his ear. He smiles fondly and opens his eyes, an angelic looking Riley Matthews in front of him. “Welcome home.”


End file.
